Posts tagged ‘fatigue’

April 23, 2012

I have a confession to make….

…I hate exercise.

There. I said it. Phew, I feel such relief!

But now I suppose I must explain before someone starts ranting about the benefits of staying active.

My biggest Don’t-judge-me-I-have-good-excuses reasons are as follows: I have always had bad ankles and any amount of running, walking, skipping, etc will leave them the size of golf balls. And I’m convinced that my lung capacity is about that of a 4 year old. I start to feel out of breath so easily and then I get a headache, a stomach ache and feel like I’m going to pass out. And that’s just jogging, my friends.

I know that the most obvious answer is “Well, Steph. If you exercise more your body will get used to it and it’ll be more happy with you.” And I know, I know. I don’t not exercise. Don’t get me wrong. I get my butt moving as often as I can, especially knowing that I will probably justify my way out of going to the gym: Jim’s home so I want to spend time with him. I have to cook dinner. The apartment needs cleaning. I must catch up on my correspondence.

And I do go to the gym…sometimes. And we do ride our bikes….sometimes. And take walks after dinner….sometimes. And I have Jillian Michaels’ 30-Day Shred…which I haven’t done in, well, months, to be honest.

But I try. I know I don’t try hard enough, but I do. I am loving cruising Pinterest for inspiration. This is one of my current faves:

To me, it’s far more “doable” than spending an hour at the gym doing cardio and weights and whatever else. And these are easy to spread out. Sometimes I’ll do them in my office at work (when no one else is around, of course!). Sometimes I’ll do them while I’m waiting for the washing machine to finish its cycle because if I leave and start something else, I know I’ll completely forget about the laundry.

This morning I woke up, did some stretching, some crunches, some pushups, a few yoga poses. Mornings are SO hard for me, I can barely get myself to the bathroom right when I wake up…and all I have to do to get there is swing my feet off the bed and take two steps!

But I still feel guilty for not putting in a good amount of time sweating my ass off. And I’m starting to think maybe that’s more me not giving myself a break than me not doing anything good for my body. I mean, at the end of the day, I can only do as much as I can do, right?

I’m still hoping that when I get this fatigue thing figured out, I’ll be able to do more. The #1 reason I hate exercise is because I always feel so exhausted…at the end of the day…at the beginning of the day…and pretty much every moment in between. And exercise doesn’t seem to give me energy like it should. I finish a workout and feel more sleepy than when I started!

Hopefully this week I’ll be able to get in to see my mom’s doctor and start to get some answers. Until then, I suppose I’ll continue doing pushups and lunges in my office when no one is looking.


April 18, 2012

A Nosh Night

Sundays at our house are Nosh Nights, meaning we don’t want to prepare a whole meal, but we need to eat something. Best case scenario, we go to the store and buy a few pre-made or easy to throw together items….worst case  we heat up, throw together and/or put in a bowl anything left in the fridge or freezer from the week.

Nosh from another night.

After going to the doctor and running errands all evening, last night was definitely a Nosh Night.

We had black bean taquitos from Trader Joes, a little bit of leftover frozen fried rice, some mini pizzas, and in the black tray are puff pastries with feta and caramelized onions….all of which was actually from Trader Joes now that I think about it.  You’ll also notice the giant bowls of salad, the only thing that actually somewhat justifies all the excess prepackaged food! Oh, and Jim had some chips (you can kind of see the bag on the floor to the left) and salsa.

And yes, it was necessary to top it off with a glass of wine (a beer for Jim) and a healthy dose of Friends on TV. It was actually quite a relaxing evening. I enjoyed it thoroughly.

Although the evening wasn’t all fun and relaxation. I went back to the specialist so he could read the results of my recent round of blood tests. Honestly I wish he would have just called me with the news. It was such a waste of my co-pay for me to go in there and sit down so he can tell me everything looks fine…oh and recommend a therapist to help control  the excess stress he assumes I have.

I guess it’s on to Plan…..uh…C? D? I don’t remember. But either way, my mom has a doctor that practices Eastern medicine, acupuncture, herbal remedies and such. When no one else could diagnose my mom’s ailments, he figured it out and treated her successfully. So I figure I’ll give it a whirl. He does a lot with allergies. Maybe I’m allergic to something I’m eating. There are a million different possibilities. I just have to find someone who can pinpoint the One.

Until then, I’m doing the best I can to survive on caffeine and sheer will power!

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April 17, 2012

Searching for answers

I’m nervous.

Today I go back to the specialist to check up on my thyroid and vitamin D levels. I’m in search of answers to my constant fatigue problem, and I’m nervous that this doctor won’t have any for me.

There have been too many times in my life where I have been told “Everything looks normal.” It’s all just in my head then, right? I mean I guess in a way it is. My head always feels like it’s shrouded in a thin layer of fog. Everything feels just a little bit harder than I think it should.

But today I might get some answers. Maybe. I’m crossing my fingers and hoping. And if this doctor doesn’t have any, I suppose I go back to the drawing board.

Cross your fingers for me. I’ll keep ya posted. 🙂

April 11, 2012

House hunting and having a hard time

Let me preface with good news: we’re looking for a house to buy!

Now the not so great news: I haven’t posted in over a week.

Partly it’s because I have no photos. What’s a blog post without photos? And partly its because I have no energy. I’m knee deep in tests and theories, and at this point crossing my fingers for a vitamin D deficiency, but nothing is concrete yet. I still have no answers as to why I’m so tired all the time.

It’s really starting to get in the way of my life. I don’t feel like cooking. But I don’t want to eat unhealthy restaurant food, nor do I want to spend the extra cash to eat out every night. I get home every night and all I can do is crash. I haven’t even been to the gym in weeks.

In the meantime, we’re looking for a house…to buy. Which, of course, is scary as heck. Our lease at the apartment is up in July, and we need more space. For what we could rent a house for, we could buy a dern nice one, so we are readjusting our options.

But it’s a pretty dismal market out there, and of course, our realtor says we are looking in possibly one of the most competitive markets in all of California. Great, right?

Which, of course, means that the house we found, the one that’s perfect: exact location, great size, good lot size, etc, etc…is in the process of being sold. Pooey.

Isn’t that a beautimous kitchen? And it’s totally in our price range. Sad face.

So we move on. And there are some more houses we like. Even a few that are still technically on the market. Real estate is so crazy. Like, if this house has an offer accepted and it is pretty much sold, why do you need to leave it up and rub it in my face that I can’t have it? Rude.

I told Jim we should sign up to go on House Hunters, the television show on HGTV where we see the buyers’ top three choices and watch them choose one. It would be fun. I bet the waiting list is forever, though. At any rate, that’s not really our style. We just want a place to live…and soon.

My problem is that I have no patience. I want to find the perfect house right now for the perfect price and just buy it. Maybe this will be a good lesson for me.

Anyway, I’ll keep you posted on all fronts. I have a doctor’s appointment on Tuesday to read more blood test results. And we go for our preapproval for the home loan this evening. Also this week, I’m attending a wedding and a bridal shower (for two different people). Lets just hope I can stay standing!

Have a great week!